so.. i dont get on here- if you got myspace.. add me*

no soy un taco!

10 LAYERS OF ME

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Chelsey Pembleton
Birth date: August 13, 1989
Birth place: L-ville, Ill.
Current Location: Oaktown, Indiana
Eye Color: brown/hazel
Hair Color: Brown with nautral blonde red highlights
Righty or Lefty: righty
Zodiac Sign: leo

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: German & Indian
What Shoes Did You Wear Today: my poka-dotted rain boots
Your fears: everything.. im really not kidding
Your perfect pizza: sauguage
Goal you'd like to achieve: gradute.. find love

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY
Your thoughts first waking up: it was about someone who will remain nameless
Your best physical feature: my eyes
Your bedtime: whenever I start feeling that sleep thing
Your most missed memory: being with my perfect someone.. who will remain nameless

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK:
Pepsi or Coke: mt. dew
McDonald's or Burger King: mcdonalds.
Single or group dates: depends on who it is
Adidas or Nike: nike
Lipton Tea or Nestea: ugh.. lipton?
Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: both

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU/ARE YOU?
Smoke: used to
Cuss: yes
Single: as of right now... no.
Take a shower: yes
Have a crush(es): yes
Think you've been in love: yes.. again nameless
Like(d) high school: depends.. like right now.. no
Want to get married: yes
Do you believe in yourself?: yes
Get motion sickness: yes
Think you're a health freak: no
Get along with your parents: most of the time

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: no
Gone to the mall: yes
been on stage: no
Eaten Sushi: not this month
been dumped: two months ago.. by nameless
Gone skating: no
Gone skinny dipping: no
Dyed your hair: no

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes
Gotten beaten up: by my sister
Changed who you were to fit in: not that i was fully aware of

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER
Age you hope to be married: 25
Numbers of Children: 1-2
Describe your dream wedding: im too young to think about that just yet.. in my opotin
What country would you most like to visit: here

LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY
Best eye color?: green/blue/hazel
Best hair color?: any - dark maybe
Short or long hair: short
Height: tall
Articles of clothing: whatever looks good on him -- prepyish


LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS
Number of people I can trust: outside of family : about 2 - 4 if im lucky
Number of CD's I own: too many too count
Number of piercings: 2 my ears
Number of tattoos: none
Number of times been on T.V: like... once maybe
Number of times my name has appeared in the Newspaper: alot but not many
Number of scars on my body: ugh- too many
Number of things in my past that I regret: 1 or 2.. probably 2

well i guess me & clint are now together.

nick was being an ass: like always. so i just decieded it wasnt worth it. thats how he always is to me & thats how he IS going to be to me. so why risk getting hurt?

& i decided i just didnt like sam like i thought. so yeah im with clint- bye!

im bitter what are you talking about? lol - me to ben

here at bens house, i think we're going to go to the pep thing tonight for the girls even though i cant go to the regionals.... ugh GAY. grades blah-

it smells like ham in here!
maybe because your mom cooked ham?
- me & ben.. he's gay

- ben loves my mom-
& i love no one.. i hate the world! lets shoot people.. yay.. lol
thats what ive been thinking all day. bad day... could you tell?

Well my Valentines day didnt suck as much as i thought.
Skimo & Chris called me & asked me to come over & hang out with them at Matt's. So I went there & watched a little bit of 'the secert window' i thought it was gay, but chris loves it? lol then me skimo & chris all went looking for matt's sister's dog. but couldnt find it. then me & skimo made some cd's. & chris went to pick up matt because he had to stay at school instead of getting out half day like the rest of us! haha!
so then matt came home & wouldnt let me finish my cd!! then i had to ran & get money from my dad. then went back to matts & tried to finish my cd.. matt was distracting! anyways- then i let went to freelandville & got ben took him home then came back to the school. did a little homework in the car - then came in & saw huey & cj naked.. again- lol
anyways!
gotta go get ready for the game.. woo-
valentines wasnt such a waste... but could've been better- you all know what i mean... blah!
<3

life still sucks. not just the michael thing. it still kills me everytime i see him.

ive got other problems, worries. but i cant discuss. its personal. anyways-

im such a drama case, i dont know why im just always so depressed... UGH

bye!

with this whole michael thing i've gotten really upset. i've done some bad things, went back to some of my old ways. but i quickly got back out, so no worries. ive started writing agian & that's helped alot. im going to type them out for the world to see just how i feel. if you think they are good: tell me. if they suck: tell me that too!
but first is a song that i am totally in love with, because it's perfect for me-
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

its funny when you find yourself
looking from the outside
im standing here
when all i want to be is over there
why did i let myself belief
miracles could happen
cause now i have to pretend
that i dont really care
i thought you were my fairytale
my dream when im not sleeping
a wish upon a star thats coming true
buy everybody else could tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
when there was me & you
i swore i knew the melody
that i heard you singing
andw hen you smiled
it made me feel
like i could sing along
but then you went & changed the words
now my heart is empty
im only left with used-to-bes & once upon a song
now i know your not a fairytale
& dreams are meant for sleeping
& wishes on a star
just dont come true
& now even i can tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
because i liked the veiw
when there was me & you
i cant believe that i could be so blind
its like you were floating
when i was falling
& i didnt mind
because i liked the view
i thought you felt it too
when there was me & you...



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - --

- one day -

smile when you want to cry
laugh when your heart is breaking
never ler him know
the power he holds over you
dont let him know you still love him
dont let him know you still need him
one day the tears with run dry
& your heart will mend
he'll be powerless over you
you'll relize you didnt love him
that he was never worth your time or tears
you wont need him li ke you thought
you'll smile because you mean it
you'll laught because you want to
then you let him know
he's old news to you
you've moved on
you've found someone new*

- - - - - - -

- two little words -

you put me on top of the world
made me feel like i was in heaven
like nothign could ever touch me
because you were there to protect me
& with two little words
you threw me to hell
threw me down to be forgotten
no more heaven
no more lies
you never meant those words you said
almost love?
almost nothing
now only a broken heart to feel my days
& tears to fill my nights..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - -

- blink -

with a blink of my eye
you were gone
once again
in her arms
you said it was only me
when all you ever meant was her
alli want is you by my side
but all you want is her by yours
i gave you my heart
& you ran with it
then you gave it back
in millions of pieces
ive tried bandaids
& even some glue
nothing seems to help
if only i could blink agian
& just be back with you
how do things change so fast?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

- youd never guess -

look at her
standing there
smiling & laughing
youd never guess
that with every glance at him
her heart was breaking even more
that one the inside she was crying

she seems to be fine
like everything is perfect
youd never guess
thate very night she cried herself to sleep
missing him constantly
hes always in the back of her mind

she doesnt want anyone to know
just how much hes hurt her
she tries so hard to be okay
acting all the time
like things are perfect
she never been happier

shell continue to smile & laugh
even when its killing her...

- - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - -

- the actress -

i feel like an actress
always pretending

putting on a show
for everyone to see

my smile is misleading
my laughter always fake

if you look into my eyes
you could really see

all my pain & agony
i dont want you to know

just how much i miss you
i dont want you to know that i still need you

you wont ever know how many tears ive cried
or how many peices my heart has been torn into

so im going to keep on acting
putting on my great show

hoping to fool everyone
when im really fooling no one..

-- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

- hearts & lies -

your lips were saying something different
then what your heart was feeling
those lips filled my heart with lies
lies only i would believe
if only you could have just spoken the truth
said what was in your heart
maybe you could have spared me
the pain & even some tears
you held my heart in your hands
you knew
yet all you ever thought about was you
you dropped my heart & it shattered
little pieces all around you
my heart wants to believe your lies
that still spill from your lips
but now i know
that you only just mean something different..

- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -

yep- those are just some.. those are the ones i think are half good- lol.... yeah well... bye..

michael is not wonderful, michael is not different, michael is not speaical. michael sucks. he likes hobbits & girls that look like trolls. sorry i'm not orange? (she's very orange because of tanning & looks like a pumkin) maybe if i walk around with a candle he'll want me? doubt it.
- story is -
me & michael are at kyle's for a party last saturday, we're sitting on the couch & he tells me i'm the only one looks right in my eyes & tells me he doesnt want kelly that he likes me that he doesnt want anyone but me.
next day: breaks up with me for her - the fucking midget whore who looks like a god damn hobbit troll creature that belongs in a zoo.

but whatever- maybe the hobbit can get him hard. because he sure did have trouble getting it up for me.

-- my life sucks as of now. i had the perfect boyfriend, i almost loved him. i know we werent together that long, but he was different. he was supposed to be anyway. - hes not.

im better then i was at first. i cried right in the middle of the mall when it happened. i yelled & screamed & kaylee & ben werent sure what to do. monday i saw them together & punched a locker. almost broke my finger. but its okay now. i am better im slowly getting back to normal. i know he isnt worth it at all. that i can do so much better. i smile & put on a show to make sure he sees that nothing is wrong, that i'm perfectly fine with him being with a fucking troll. he wont ever know how much he hurt me. its better that way..

-----
basketball homecoming is tomorrow*
i'm going with clint & its going to be so much fun!!

& love*